writerlywitterings

Sir John de Sully’s arms from St George’s Chapel, Windsor, where they stand at his stall for the Order of the Garter (photocopy courtesy of the Lancaster Herald, College of Arms)

First, many thanks for all the comments yesterday about my losing a reader. I am very glad to say that the guy is not only very sensible, he’s a deeply honourable fellow as well. I exchanged a series of messages with him during the day yesterday, and he’s changed his mind. He hadn’t seen the comments about author incomes and how badly remunerated authors were. As a result (and because he really does like my books, thank God), he’s going to continue with them. Thanks to all my friends here who were so supportive, though. I really appreciate your comments and messages.

And while I was thinking about those messages I remembered a nice comment from last week. For some reason which I cannot fathom it got sent to my Spam folder. Anyway, I thought I should share the contents with you.

Nobody likes spam, do they? My blog gets about 40 spam messages a day. There are some inventive ones (“I know this is a little off-message, but…”), the whimsical (“While walking on the beach with my daughter …”) to the plain dishonest (“I love your blog. I keep getting spam, do you know of a good spam filter …”). Occasionally the spelling is atrocious, but that is apparently intentional. I’ve heard that spammers like to have awful spelling because they know that it’ll irritate the more intelligent, and thus they’ll filter out those they can’t fool and only morons will respond, giving them a better chance to commit ID theft or another form of fraud.

However, rarely do I get an honest one like this.

So: how can you tell when spam is spam?

Well, when the spammer has an entire library of potential spam messages, that is a help. And when the spammer has usefully brought in a complete, unmitigated cretin to run their messaging, you may get not one message, not two, but all the spammer’s carefully hoarded messages. With their cross-out lists.

I am assuming someone got fired for posting this one. Store up all the comments here, dear Reader, and you will know when you are being scammed in future.

Read this and weep. Yes, it is genuine. This is the one comment to beat all comments on WordPress!

{
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I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting.
{Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well}
written!|
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Thanks.|
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{bookmarked|book marked|book-marked|saved as a favorite} it.

Money and freedom {is the best|is the greatest} way to
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{Superb|Exceptional|Outstanding|Excellent} Blog!|
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in {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} blogging.
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{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys {are|are
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personal|my own} blogroll.|
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{Terrific|Wonderful|Great|Fantastic|Outstanding|Exceptional|Superb|Excellent} blog and {wonderful|terrific|brilliant|amazing|great|excellent|fantastic|outstanding|superb} {style
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{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone
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{This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind of} clever work and {exposure|coverage|reporting}!
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{Thanks a lot|Kudos|Cheers|Thank you|Many thanks|Thanks}, I appreciate it!|
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{By the way|However}, how {can|could} we communicate?|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hello|Hey} just wanted to give you a quick
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Hope you get the {problem|issue} {solved|resolved|fixed} soon. {Kudos|Cheers|Many
thanks|Thanks}|
This is a topic {that is|that’s|which is}
{close to|near to} my heart… {Cheers|Many thanks|Best wishes|Take care|Thank you}!
{Where|Exactly where} are your contact details though?|
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{website|web site|site|web page}.|
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you an {e-mail|email}. I’ve got some {creative ideas|recommendations|suggestions|ideas} for your blog you might be interested in hearing.

Either way, great {site|website|blog} and I look forward to seeing it {develop|improve|expand|grow}
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{Hi there|Hello there|Howdy}! This {post|article|blog
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{A lot of|Lots of|Many|Numerous} {other folks|folks|other people|people} {will be|shall be|might be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} benefited {from your|out
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{it’s|it is} rare to see a {nice|great} blog like this
one {these days|nowadays|today}.|
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Think you can recognise spam now?

I can too!